Vent
by Musik34
Summary: August CBPC. Somethings were never meant to be heard. What happens on the beach stays on the beach, but whatever happens in the beach hotel rooms is free game.


**AN: August CBPC. What happens on the beach stays on the beach…what happens in the beach hotel rooms is free game.**

"Angela, I don't like this."

Angela Montenegro pulled down her sunglasses and sighed in disdain. "You're right, Bren. We should hate every moment of this all-expense paid weekend in the sun on this exclusive white sandy beach. You're absolutely right--leave now and allow Jack and me to wallow in this horrible summer vacation from dead bodies and crazed murderers." She stretched out on a beach towel, choosing to ignore Brennan's callous glare.

Brennan pulled her feet up to her chest and rolled her eyes, replying, "I don't appreciate the sarcasm. I like a weekend getaway, but I spend my vacations doing something productive. Not lying on a beach getting a tan."

"We deserve this."

"And the bones in limbo deserve to be identified as soon as possible," Brennan pointed out.

"Look," Angela started as she sat back up. "We've all had a rough year. This is our boss's boss's boss way of saying 'Chillax. We appreciate you and need you people to continue fighting the good fight. We know a weekend of relaxing will save your sanity.'"

Brennan blew out air and asked, "Then why did Booth get to come along? I understand why Cam opted to go back to Brooklyn and see family, but Booth--"

"Because there was an open spot," Angela said, her voice slightly grim. It hit Brennan instantly, and she bit her lower lip, remembering that one of their tight-knit group was in Iraq.

"Zach will be okay. He's a smart kid," Brennan said to herself. Pushing away the onslaught of missing their young prodigy and the anxiousness, Brennan complained, "If I were using this vacation to relax, wouldn't it be smart if they didn't let Booth come? He drives me clinically insane."

A wicked grin crossed Angela's face. "Sweetie, he needs this just as much as you do. Don't forget, you drive him clinically insane, too."

"Fair enough."

"You know," Angela drawled, "what happens on the beach stays on the beach--"

"I'm not sleeping with Booth," Brennan interrupted. She stood and dusted the sand off her blue bikini and began walking away.

Angela sat up, confused, and called out, "Where you going now? You're supposed to chillax!!"

"I'm going for a walk," Brennan tossed over her shoulder. Whispering to herself she added, "And escaping whatever plans you have for me and Booth."

* * *

Seeley Booth was in pain. In absolute and utter torture as he trudged his way back to the hotel room. Shaking his head, he stiffly tried opening his door when he heard a chuckle. 

"Booth, you're as red as a pepper."

"Tomato, Bones, tomato," Booth gritted out as he got the damned key to work. Pushing the door open, Brennan stepped up to him and added, "In this case, it doesn't matter what vegetable it is, you're burnt."

"Thanks, Captain Obvious."

"Did you put sunscreen on, like I told you to?" Brennan asked sweetly. She leaned against the doorway, and Booth involuntarily began scanning her well-shaped body. He had never imagined (minus dreams) seeing his partner in a bikini, and it was one sight he would be very glad to get used to. She cleared her throat and he snapped back to reality.

"Umm…no. I was trying to tan," Booth admitted sheepishly.

Brennan was studying Booth's torso and back unabashedly, and Booth started to shift nervously. _Is she checking me out? _Breaking his fantasies, Brennan announced, "You're really burned. You should put some aloe vera on your back."

"I would if I could reach," Booth hinted jokingly. With a straight face, Brennan shrugged her shoulders and said, "I have some back in my room. I can do it for you."

Booth looked at her blankly. Then, using his best charm smile, he answered, "What happens on the beach stays on the beach."

She narrowed her eyes but smirked. Roughly grabbing his sunburned arm, she dragged him to her hotel room, ignoring his yelp of pain. Looking back innocently, she demanded, "Behave yourself, or your arm won't be the worst thing I grab."

Booth was utterly speechless when the door to her hotel room slammed tightly as he was led to her bed.

* * *

"I think Brennan should have sex with Booth," Angela observed as she kicked off her sandals. 

Jack Hodgins snorted and replied, "I hope not. We would hear everything through that damned vent. Did you know Dr. Brennan snores like a forty-year old marine?"

Angela chuckled and nodded her head in confirmation. "Do you think she can hear us?"

Hodgins grinned and pulled Angela down on top of him, the bed squeaking slightly. "Who cares?" he asked as his lips met hers. A sudden shout echoing from the vent connecting Brennan's and Angela's room halted their progress. Angela and Hodgins jumped off, concerned for their friend. Then they heard a curse, and Angela pulled Hodgins back from the door.

"Oh…my…god…that was Booth," Angela whispered.

"Are you sure?" Hodgins asked incredulously.

"There's only one way to find out."

* * *

"Damn it!" Booth cringed as Brennan smeared aloe vera on his fried back. 

"Quit being a baby," Brennan demanded. "I don't understand why it's hurting you, the gel is supposed to take the heat out of the burn and heal your skin."

"It's not that," Booth gritted, "it's you!" In all his dreams, Booth never thought he would be lying on his partner's bed, her nearly straddling him in a bikini. Unfortunately in the real world, he could not see her, only feel the sting of her hands as she practically slapped the ice-cold gel onto his burned back. What was worse was that she seemed to be enjoying torturing him, as if getting back for all the times he teased her. This was not how summer vacation was supposed to be!

"What do you mean?" Brennan asked briskly.

"I mean you don't have to be so rough with me!" Booth groaned as he buried his head into a pillow.

* * *

"…_You don't have to be so rough!"_

Angela covered her mouth, forcing a shriek back into her stomach as she strained to hear what was coming from the vent. Glancing down at Hodgins, she hissed, "Stay still! It's hard trying to hear what's going on when you move."

Hodgins grunted as he balanced Angela on his shoulders. "You're taller than me. This isn't going to work…"

"Brennan's being too rough with Booth," Angela relayed and Hodgins froze.

"That's better," Angela commented as she turned her head back to the dusty gray vent. As another guttural groan surfaced and echoed in the venting, Angela thought evilly, _Boy, what I would give to be a fly on that wall…_

_

* * *

_

"You're enjoying this too much," Booth muttered.

"Calm down, I'm almost done," Brennan scolded as she slapped another glob of vera onto Booth's lower back, an inch from the waistband of Booth's swim shorts.

He jerked up and yelled, "Damn it, Bones, quit smacking me like that!"

* * *

"_Quit smacking me like that!"_

"Oh, God, I have to buy that woman some new toys now," Angela said through tears, trying to keep her laughter to a low roar.

Hodgins muttered, "Are you surprised that she'd be the dominant one?" as he struggled to hold Angela upright.

"Brennan and Booth having sex--oh, my gosh, I wonder how long they've been doing it. And she never told me!" Angela shook her head. What she heard next made her jaw drop.

* * *

"That's it," Booth said as he lifted himself up. Without warning, he grabbed Brennan's waist, tossed her down on the bed, and started tickling her. "You enjoy hurting me too much." 

"Booth!" Brennan shrieked as she tried to keep a serious face. However, she found herself squirming under his attack and it wasn't long before she burst out laughing.

"Stop it! This is something my brother did, and I hated it!" she squealed as she pushed Booth away.

* * *

Hodgins and Angela stared at each other in horror. 

"Brother?!"

* * *

"Ok, ok, you got me back, Booth. But you should have listened to me, you could get skin cancer," Brennan stood, wiping the tears from her face. Booth rolled his eyes and made his way to the door. Turning, he mocked pledged, "I swear to always put sunscreen on for now on, Mommy Dearest." 

She scowled and replied, "You should have listened to me."

"Well, hell, after that, I'm not ever going to get burned again. That was complete agony; you have to be gentler when helping the injured. Burned skin and slapping medicine on do not go together in the same sentence."

Brennan smiled slightly, and said, "Sorry."

"You're forgiven," Booth grinned back. "Thanks, though."

And that's when they heard a large crash coming through the vent.

* * *

Unable to stand perfectly still any longer, Hodgins tried to shift Angela's weight forward. Not very graceful herself, Angela started falling forward. In a last ditch attempt to stop her descent to the floor, Hodgins tried to fall back onto the bed. Instead, he tripped over her sandals and his legs gave right out under him. Angela free fell to the floor with a sickening thud and a small crack. Hodgins caught her foot with the left side of his face and it nearly knocked him out cold. Next to him, he heard Angela moan softly while he cursed. 

"She…was putting aloe on his back…" Hodgins groaned.

Angela flopped over on her back and squeaked, "Yep."

* * *

On the day the four had to return to the Jeffersonian, Brennan didn't even bother asking why Hodgins had a black eye, and why Angela's left wrist was in a brace. Looking slyly over at the couple, Booth whistled and commented, "Well…I'm not gonna ask, because we literally heard the "Big Bang" coming from your room." 

Angela's face flushed as Brennan looked up, bewildered, "Booth, the Big Bang Theory was when the universe--oh….never mind."

Angela snorted slightly as she climbed into the van and Brennan whispered, "What happens on the beach stays on the beach, right?"


End file.
